Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
