After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
