good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
