Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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