...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
