dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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