You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
