Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
