guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
