What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
