what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
