Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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