dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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