omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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