it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
