just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
