pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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