it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
