I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
