So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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