your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
