Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
