the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
