he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
