I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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