i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
