Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
