Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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