letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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