So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
