I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
