Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
