is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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