You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
