He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is my gift to your gina
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
