I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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