Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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