yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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