sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
