dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
