Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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