Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
