so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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