Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
