Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
