Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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