Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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