Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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