i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he shaved USA in his pubs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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