Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
