Who did Billy Mays play for?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
