I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
