I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
