My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
